Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Nothing is more delicioius than the spawn of Hell's Kitchen


I have found it. Everyone can stop looking now. Utter perfection.

I have also discovered why New York City exists. It has been quite a productive day.

It exists to harbor a neighborhood know as Hell's kitchen, that contains a small blue store front, with faded gold lettering. Inside, is a tiny bakery. Inside that is a glass case where the baked goods are contained. Resting on a humble checkered napkin inside this case is the most magnificent confection ever to grace this earth.

This sticky bun is an epiphany on the tongue.

Amy's Bread, 9th between 47th and 48th.
You have to go.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

JONES! (including whether or not she is a robot!)




Read the above hyperlink first! For a general information update. Now, the most important thing I see in this article is "TO THE POINT OF BEING SUSPETCED TO BE AS ROBOT!" From here on in I will inspect the reasons for and against this topic.


CH'YEAH JONES IS A ROBOT!:


1. Jones barely ever shows any emotion. Ever.

2. She considers herself to be neutral to both the Court and the Gilite Forest. Does that mean she considers herself NEITHER HUMAN OR ANIMAL?

3. She is very skilled at unarmed dueling

4. During such a duel, she was struck with the blade yet remained unhurt. Unless she has powers simaler to Wolverine (not the metal bones part just the healing) she could be entirely made out of metal easily.

5. She treats Mr. Elgamore like a little kid, so she might have known him, and not changes, since James was a little kid!

6. When Annie brought up the subject to Kat at first she didnt believe it was possible. Then she changed her mind and wanted to build one, therefore thinking it was possible for her to build one. If its possible for Kat it could be possible for Diego! (or another skilled robot builder)

6. Rey said he had know Jones for a long time. Isnt rey a cousin of Coyote? The GOD? doesnt that make rey IMMORTAL?(as far as age goes) He could have known Jones from the DAWN OF TIME! or when she was created


PSH, YEAH RIGHT!


1. Rey said Jones was not a robot. With alot of conviction. (but when does rey tell the truth?)



If you can add anything to either column, please do! or if you cant put it in a post and I will put it in!

Friday, July 17, 2009

Superhero Weaknesses



Okay I was thinking about this, and since my last attempt at a blog sucked so badly I am going to try again.


Superhero Weaknesses!!!!! (most googled)




Lets start with the most popular!

Superman! kryptonite! this is a pretty solid weakness. I mean, its not exactly commen so you have to be pretty rich and pretty determined to track it down. Too bad Lex Luther is both rich and determined. Better luck next time.

Wolverine! Anything that negates his healing powers! (as his metal bones would kill him without his healing powers) Nothing actually comes to mind as far as negating his healing mojo, except , I dont know, Rouge, but they arent actually enimies (I think) so im sure hes fine in that department. But in his origins movie he was AWESOME AND UNSTOPPABLE! YOU PWN THAT NERD JIMMY!

Green Lantern! The color yellow? Oooookay I mean no McDonalds for you! And If life ever tried to give him lemons then instead of making lemonade he would die. Thats a pretty commen weakness. I mean isnt the SUN yelllow? Can green lantern go outside??

Professor X! STAIRS! hahahaha! sorry! that was mean

Magneto!(I know hes not a hero but im putting him in here anyway) Plastic weapons! Hahaha guess who cant eat with plastic forks? No KFC for you!

Storm! Clastrophobia? I did not know that one. I bet you did though

Hulk! Anger? Its not actually a weakness but its got to be pretty annoying that you burst into a giant green monster when somebody takes the last slice of pizza. Also, I mean hes a nerd usually and a monster occasionally so its kinda like a Lose/Lose situation

Flash! Apparently, once he got shot with a bullet that attached to his spinal cord and when he went intangible he went into a hypersonic seizure! Oh my! I did not know that one either! But i mean its not really a weakness because what are the odds of that happening again? Like one in a bajillion

Batman! Being human! And apparently Robin! I mean since he is not an alien he can make mistakes and Robin must need saving sometimes.

Spiderman! Aunt May (getting kidnapped or hurt) MaryJane! (getting kidnapped or hurt) If my weaknesses were people I would have them safe somehow. I dont know how but somehow.

Buffy Nothing! Buffy is awesome.

Me! If I were a superhero I would have my weakness be a feather from a dodo bird that has recently been eaten by a palatypus Try to do THAT villan! Even if you did find a dodo bird how would you get a palatypus to eat it!? Palatypi are Veggitarians!

Thursday, July 16, 2009


So in regards to superheroes, some thought.

I've put much thought into the subject, and I think I would have to say teleportation hands down. To be able to be anywhere you wanted at a moments notice! You could see the world, be a master theif, and leave behind awesome smoke effects. Weakness would probably be getting stuck inside of things, splicing, and all that unpleasantness.

Most awesome power with weakness that would suck the most:

Flight, and Gravity.




Questions!?

I have learned that questions are a good way to start a blog. The question is, what question should be asked?
Alright, start classic : "To be, or not to be? That is the question" Well, its not a very good question because I cant really find a way to answer it. I probably should actually read Hamlet. Since I have not, I have no idea what this question is asking. (which is really the point of a question isnt it? To ask things? Whatever)
Okie dokes then something more modern. What would the average person ask nowadays? : Oh my god! Did you see that last episode of Suite Life on Deck? It was amazing! or Dude, can I borrow five bucks? As you can see these are very intricately woven questions that will make your mind spin and lie awake for hours pondering your answer. NOT
If you could be an animal, what animal would you be? Dont therapists usually ask this question? I dont know how it helps to asses somebody's mental status. I mean unless they were like "A lion so i could eat you!" and then charged the therapist. Then they could safely say, "from you response to this question and your actions thereafter, I have deduced that you are a complete and utter nutjob and will now taser you. ZZZZZZ. "Now how does that make you feel?" Which I believe to be a fairly rare event.
Now I want a turkey sandwitch so I am going to post this and go make one! sorry it took so long and is so short. And is not very interesting.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Evil is opposed not by the unambiguously good but by the morally unreliable.


I think Dr. Who was incredibly stylish for a space distorting phone booth traveling Time Lord. Despite not really following his show, i think one day i will be him for halloween

brief interlude


I believe that there is beauty and truth in words. I spent most of my childhood buried in them. I would breathe them like air. Words carefully preserved between colorful bindings covered in plastic, pressed between the careworn pages given momentary life by the passing of fingers, hungry eyes. Living words glowing on screens. "A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away", "I'm glad you are here with me Sam, here at the end of all things". They'd lead to places I wished to be, immersed and safe, images staying with me far longer than anything else I can remember.

Sometimes I would like to imagine that people walking around in auras of words. They would float around our bodies like clouds of dotted lace. And when we needed to say things that we couldn't, they would wake up and swarm around us, spreading out like huge black billboard wings. A quick "Thanks" and smile to a kid at the cash register, and a nod in return would be translated to

"YOU CAN NEVER KNOW THE IMMEASURABLE GRATITUDE THAT THIS GIFT OF GUM HAS INSPIRED WITHIN THE DEPTHS OF MY HEART. MY BREATH WILL NO LONGER STINK OF SOUR MILK AND DISEASE. I WILL BE MINTY FRESH ALWAYS, AND YOU HAVE MADE THIS POSSIBLE. YOU ARE WONDERFUL. A GOD OF CASHIERS, A PARAGON OF BAGGERS, A PRODIGY OF CHANGE GIVERS."

To the jerk who is driving 50mph in the fast lane, the italian lady with the long clawlike nails who snatches the last jacket in your size from the rack, the kid whose large head is completely blocking your view.

"YOU SHALL KNOW MY RAGE AND UTTER DISDAIN. I CURSE YOU, YOUR ANCESTORS, AND ALL THE SPAWN THAT WILL COME FROM YOUR LOINS. I HOPE THE GROUND WITHERS BENEATH YOUR FEET, AND MAGGOTS FEAST ON YOUR FLESH AND DEVOUR YOUR BONES"

and in reply

"I SECRETLY DELIGHT IN YOUR MISFORTUNE"

As you are getting in the car, or walking out the door, after a quick hug and a bye.

"I LOVE YOU AND WILL MISS YOU. GOODBYE GOODBYE. IF I DO NOT RETURN, I WANT YOU TO KNOW MY LOVE IS ALL ENDURING AND WILL FOLLOW YOU WHEREVER YOU GO. LET THIS BE HOW YOU REMEMBER ME."

I think this would make life much more entertaining.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

vrooooom


There should be rules about reading over old blogger posts. One never wants to be reminded what an idiot you were.


So i figure i'll start this off by explaining this solemn venture's given name.


Theres this man named Dave Eggers. He writes. You know, snippets, ramblings, novels. Stuff. There are plenty of people who do that. But the way the man writes. Like every sentence is of the utmost importance, full of glory and quiet contemplation, last words snatched from the lips of dying men.

He's pretty cool, so i snatched this title from him until I can come up with something better.

After finishing any of his longer works, he gets sort of stuck in my head. You end up thinking and feeling in his narration, like every moment spent in the sun in drunken in through your skin and every moment is something profound and wonderful.

Anyway in one specific text he talks about a tribe called the jumping people. The jumping people live somewhere in south america. Chile? Argentina? Take your pick. Picture green rolling hills, admist windy peaks, clear blue south american skies, white stone and brilliantly colored fabrics. They're scattered now, across the continent, blood watered down and running through the veins of thousand unintelligable descendants.

These jumping people had slightly different views on souls. We usually picture souls as light airy things, glowing and etheral. The Jumping People had souls like mountains. They believed that their ancestors all lived on in their souls, compounding and passed through the blood, until each person had giant boulders of souls, full of the collective knowledge, pain, and happiness of lifetimes. There were some who could climb or tunnel through their mountains and some who could not. Regardless all carried the weight.

The jumping people also believed that they were destined to fly. They would see the birds around their mountain villages and they knew they were supposed to do that too. But they couldn't, with such heavy mountains inside of them. So they thought and they studied and figured the trick was air. Birds were just always swallowing air which was keeping them up. Wings were just sort of turning things, like axels, but not the wheels. So they jumping people would run around jumping with their mouths open, leaping off cliffs, hoping that in two generations, maybe three, they'd have enough air in their mountains that they could float away too.

So when the people came, and there are always people who come, to fight wars and take their land, the jumping people weren't terribly concerned. They weren't to attatched to their stuff anyway. And from all that constant running and jumping they were fast. God were they fast. They just packed up and ran. And when the people got there, it is said there was a phrase carved into the living rock of the mountain where they lived. Now its been translated back and forth between the Jumping People language and spanish, finally back to English, so it may not be quite right, but its generally considered a good thing to leave carved behind on a rock.

OH YOU SHALL KNOW OUR VELOCITY.



So umm yeah. This blog is for Kiera. More generally for us. We're always running around from place to place taking care of our own things and I thought we should have a better method of keeping in touch. So I want you to post stories here whenever you want, snippets about your lives, pictures music anything. And when your sitting around procrastinating just sit down and read. I think we're so awesome, we're bound to churn out something pretty damn good.