The Master Escape Artist

by Kiera Wolfe

I’ve tricked the police, I’m really rather clever,
They wrongly believe, I’ll be in here forever.
I ramble nonsense sometimes; they think I’m a loon.
But, I’ve still one salvation, for I’ve sneaked in a spoon.
I’ve seen all the movies; I know what to do,
I gouge out a tunnel, and then say ‘toodaloo!’
But wait, how will I dig through straight stone?
I find it’s quite impossible, and I let out a moan.
But hey! I’m a genius! I’ll escape from this jerk,
I saw this idea on Mythbusters so it really must work.
I’ll make a long rope, woven from hair,
I’ll climb down the side, ha! No need to despair!
It’ll take me a while, but of hair there is plenty,
My bunkmate doesn’t need all her hair, she’s almost twenty!
But I forgot, they shaved her head to resell,
So now she’s bald! Alas, no useful people in this cell.
But don’t fret; my next plan is surefire,
It’ll be quite easy, no need to perspire.
I’ll rush out and get caught, get put in a new prison,
For my new plan is great, even if newly arisen.
I I’ve tricked the police, I’m really rather clever,
They wrongly believe, I’ll be in here forever.
But I’m in a new jail, this one’s in New York,
And I will escape, for this time I have a fork.

Here's a short clip of the latest project I've been developing. Essentially its a particle field that reacts to your webcam in order to sketch out these cool drawings. It pulls its opacity/direction directly from the webcam pixels. I put some more screen-shots on my documentation blog.


Swoon from Alex Wolfe on Vimeo.

War? War! Poetry

We’ve gone to war, and declared it so
We both agree, if we are to grow,
Then one shall stay, and one shall go,
A colony shall remain, ichi, eins, uno

Red vs. Black, only we shall thrive,
As we climb over the hill, we will survive,
The queen is safe, well fed, and alive,
The Reds cower in fear until we arrive.

Using antennae, we relay and talk,
We hide behind the springtime stalk,
The sun is blocked out by a single hawk,
But we never stop, to look, to gawk

Our armies clash, workers and warriors galore,
Our enemies cower at our silent roar,
What is the reason for this gore?
Miniscule corpses line the floor.

But alas we were all one speed slower,
For the Human just finished with the leaf blower,
I can feel morale sinking lower, lower,
As millions of ants are bested by the lawn mower.

Googe Boutiques

Helllooo!

I am currently a bum, and have spend all my time programming robot vision/ a chess bot and have nothing remotely creative to share with you.

However, long hours of procrastination have finally bore fruit! Check out my google boutique! I wrote a long post about my thoughts on it over on the documentation blog since it was looking sad and colorless. Essentially it also uses a pretty revolutionary computer vision AI (for a shopping search that is) and slowly learns what you like based on the physical images rather than word tags. Extremely cool and worth making an account just to play around with. Plus you get to take one of those fun fashion quizzes to start. Here's a link to mine, and picture below : )

Little Jamie: A Poem of Mischief

Little Jamie

Little Jamie ran through the town, wreaking havoc at every turn,
Jamie’s taunts and torments made the ladies ‘tsk’ with concern.

Mischief was Jamie’s forte; you would never catch Jamie with a toy,
Instead, people were Jamie’s playthings, and their agony caused great joy.

Jamie would trap spiders, and let them loose in class,
And threw paper airplanes at the choir when attending Sunday Mass.

When Jamie was looking for some fun, all the pets would hide,
For Jamie would throw bricks at them, and look upon their hurts with pride.

When Jamie decided it was time to play, there would appear a length of string,
That wound around the feet of runners, and left then with a mighty sting.

Jamie poured pots of water on walkers beneath Jamie’s windowsill,
And for the rest of the day they were sad and wet and caught a horrid chill.

Jamie picked up frogs and snails, and would put them in your bed,
So when you woke, Jamie could laugh with glee as they oozed around your head.

Jamie was a true menace; schoolgirls were constantly finding gum in their hair,
And Jamie would giggle contentedly from within an evil lair.

And when Jamie pulled the final straw, and stole the mayor’s prize pearl,
The town decided not to punish Jamie, for Jamie was a girl.

Finished Wind Interaction Projects

Here are the photos of the finished turbine. This is the final result for my obstruction project from before. "Computer Art" without a computer, something that collects mundane data a represents it visually. The LED's brightness directly relates to the speed of the wind! It makes a beautiful dimming, brightening, dimming, sort of breathing pattern when in use. I originally wanted to make a bigger more extravagant diffuser than the little bird, but it was so cute, and it works very well.

Hanners!

Hannelore Ellicot-Chatham

Genevieve

Genevieve! From QC Strip Number 676! Im trying to shy away from the Gunnerkrigg stuff now that i think i can do those somewhat well. Bam!

Upcycled Wind Generator

Here are some shots of the wind generators I'm working on to power an installation. Made from an old case fan, PVC, scrap wood, and some steel tubing

Ode to my Ultralord

Today I got an Ultralord; he’s really quite a catch.
I bought him in mint condition, not a single scratch.

But when I opened him up today, I realized something weird.
There was a problem with his voice box, just as I had feared.

My brand new Ultralord, the first thing that he said,
Was to ask whether I liked his nails, and if he should paint them red.

Then I faced Robo-Fiend, and put Ultralord in a fighting stance,
But instead of bringing justice, he wanted to go to the dance.

I prepared my Ultralord for battle, and gave him his laser blaster,
But when he stopped to check his hair, it turned into a disaster.

What is wrong with my Ultralord? He should be protecting space!
He is NOT a Barbie, what does he have makeup on his face?

I want another Ultralord, one that can actually fight,
I’ll give him to my sister, I’m sure he and Ken will get along alright.