Tuesday, December 1, 2009

The first page of my storyy bet you wanna read more!

Kiera Wolfe
Lili looked in the ornate white mirror hanging on her bedroom wall. She looked amazing. She looked from her rough gold leather sandaled feet to her billowy white toga, smiling as she thought of the expression that would appear on her best friends face when he saw her final touches on her costume. The muffled giggles of the younger children that were trick-or-treating already interrupted her thoughts as they snaked through her window. She was late! She grabbed the intricate hat she had made the evening before off of her nightstand and rushed downstairs. As she stomped down the landing she looked around, trying to locate her mother. Tara Golde was arranging stacks of candy and neatly placing them into the candy bowl when her daughter hit her like a freight train.
“Whoa! Slow down there Lili!” She laughed.
“No time for slowing mom! C’mon you have to get this on quick!” Lili shoved the hat into her mother’s hands, suddenly slow and steady, making sure to avoid crushing the delicate adornments glued to the top. On the hat were twenty-five carefully crafted papier-mâché snakes, writhing silently. Lili’s mother guided her easily excitable daughter into a kitchen chair and picked up her bag of hairpins.
“Might as well calm down,” she said wearily, “this will take a little bit of time.” One by one she inserted the black bobby pins into her daughters flaming hair, creating a stable bun at the base of her neck. She then carefully fitted the fragile hat onto Lili’s now flat skull. When the job was done, Lili rushed to the mirror and beamed at her reflection. “I look fabulous!”
The sweet chiming of their doorbell interrupted her from admiring her costume. “Oh, that must be Tommy! Right on time.” Sure enough, it was her best friend, Tomothy, who was dressed rather peculiarly. He was almost totally gray, with tiny flecks of color running over his barely-noticeable clothes looking like the fragments inside of stone. He would have been easily confused for a statue had his pearly white teeth not been exposed in a cheery grin. Lili frowned, “Well that’s not very believable.” She joked.
“Fine, fine, I’ll do the whole bit.” Tommy repositioned himself into a terrified pose, face looking petrified and his arms spread ahead of him blocking some invisible evil. He stood extremely still and held the pose until Lili started to laugh. “Perfect! You remind me of that song that we listened to the other day… are you petrified, of being petrified!”She sang jokingly. “Looks like you are!”
“Well I am a poor innocent that you mercilessly turned to stone; I have every right to be terrified!”
This was when Lili’s mom interceded. “Enough talking, get walking! You have houses to hit!” She put one capable hand on each child’s back and almost pushed them out the door. Maybe she would have given them a warmer goodbye if she knew that was the last time she would see the children for a long time.


Lilieli said...

I like it! i guess its not very interesting yet but once you see the end youll get why its cool. =P

fox said...

I like it alot so far too! Its a very good introduction. Keep going!

Your writing reads incredibly smoothly. Your style is very very good so even if there are bumps in the grammer you glide right over them. It shows that you read alot.

...are we going to have to save the school agaaain?

Anonymous said...

Your writing does flow. Good work. Waiting to


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